Whatever helps you sleep at night

Small talk? Not sure I’m quite fond of it anymore. But I’ve learned that it helps break the ice between strangers, or make the que in a grocery store move quite faster. I was once a vast contributor to this polite conversations about unimportant or uncontroversial matters, wherever I walked, who I saw or even in a formal setting. I’d always have something to say. A friend of mine said she used small talk to her advantage, as a small business owner she has acquired great leads and prospects from engaging in small talk.

But trust me not everyone feels the same about it. Well I slowly retracted to engaging in small talk when I met people who delve a bit too much into the conversation with YOU as the topic of discussion. Trust me there’s a limit to what you can and may ask a stranger or an acquaintance, personally I’ve had my fair share of being grilled just by being polite and smiling to someone.

A recent encounter I’ve had with the topic at hand was with a woman in her mid-fourties, she was behind me in a que at a grocery store.

Curiously scanning my trolley she saw a magazine she had brought a few days ago and quickly commented that she didn’t like the person on the cover, I grinned politely and went back to what I was doing. Persistent as she appeared to be, she continued as said “Well, I won’t be purchasing this magazine anymore, it lacks substance and they have just lost it respect for, completely “

I loosened up and began commenting on how they changed editor’s and so forth. She nodded in agreement, but something didn’t quite feel right, because when I looked into her eyes, attempting to make eye contact, she kept looking away.

 I approached the till point, and brushed it away, thinking it must be a natural reflex.  I mean how many people do I know that look one another in the eye when they speak? I used to love practicing that with people, “The looking each other in the eye thing” and in my mind who ever looked away first lost the challenge. 

Nonetheless, I approached the till and completed my transaction, just as I was about to exit the store, she came running after me. “The woman “

At the corner of my eye I could see someone was approaching me, but who pays attention to such in a grocery store full of people.

Heyyy, she yelled at me. And my feet just could not stop moving. I kept walking she finally caught up and asked me to sit and began pouring her entire worries and problems on me. Her divorce, and how she drank herself in a pulp each night, trying to deal with being alone and not having anyone to talk to”

“You felt comfortable telling me that? Something so personal” I raised my voice in concern.

“Well if you’ve been through what I’ve been through, you’d do whatever makes you sleep at night”, she said.

A sudden urge to empathize swept over me, I told her to be strong and that things have a way of working out on they’re own. Yes, “  I honestly didn’t know what to say, I admit, I’ve never been in her situation”.

We parted ways, To this day, I’m afraid to make small talk, mainly due the fact that sometimes, people’s problem’s are better kept, sometimes we all don’t have the answer’s and offering an ear, may do more harm than giving  a shoulder to cry on.

Because we all are constantly waiting to find an answer, to why some don’t sleep at night.

Let’s not wait for the sun to shine in, but let us open the curtain’s and it shall be so.

_MisssMinnie

Exploring Fulfillment

Fulfillment means the achievement of something desired, promised, or predicted but to others it means being in sync with what you have achieved and knowing you’re developing your goals in order to reach a place of complete contentment and possibly solitude. But for some it mainly involves an ongoing process of climbing the corporate ladder and building a future only they envision.

Some of these women that have caught my attention and not only on a fictional basis, since they are  characters that we are exposed to and only exist on popular television series’ but in real life these women portray feminism on a scale seldomly endeavored . They are have worked very hard to be where they are. It not only gets me excited knowing that they’re living they’re dream while relating to ordinary women like us. They know that quality entertainment is be measured by the sheer force of creativity and the commitment they bring to the viewer’s.  

Who ever thought that day time television would be so REAL and enlightening, especially to issues that affect women daily. They touch on topics that some producers turn a blind eye on. Well for those who don’t really follow these programme's , allow me to bring you up to speed.

§  Being Mary Jane (Starring  Gabrielle Union as Mary Jane)2013 BET PRODUCTION   :

 Mary Jane Paul, a successful cable news anchor who has a closet packed with designer clothes and shoes, a beautiful home, a nice car, and the drive to achieve even greater heights. Yet something is missing.

§  Scandal (Starring Kerry Washington as Olivia Pope) 2012 ABC PRODUCTION            : Olivia Pope, a former media consultant to the president, is ready to move on with her life and opens her own crisis-management firm, but she can't seem to shake ties with her past, where she then falls in love with the President and gets consumed by this affair.

§  How to get away with murder (Starring Viola Davis as Annalise Keating) 2014 ABC :

 Annalise Keating is a prominent criminal defense attorney and a law professor at Middleton University in Philadelphia. One would be appalled at her work and how well she handles her cases.

How exactly are these women relevant to fulfillment you may ask? Well they, like” you and me” are ordinary women who live and maintain extraordinary lives.

Mary Jane is a woman many can identify with, she’s smart, compassionate and driven. But due to society, this woman is ridiculed upon, mainly because of her preferences, the way she does things, this woman is not a follower but she is a leader. She knows what she wants and how she will get there. She would be bold enough to say “I planned my success, I knew it was going to happen”. As the story unfolds you learn after all her efforts on building her career and making a name for herself, she yearns for a partner, and kids and preferably white picket fence or some fancy fencing made out bricks. Well we all know what she wants, yet after so much hard work she always seems to find herself with a glass of Merlot on her couch, sobbing and wishing things were different and after a long struggle of relationships she realises she just wants her life to be the way it is, what should come, will come.

Ms. Pope!!! Oliva Pope is one of my favourites, she’s considerate and shows remorse when needed and with eloquence she knows where to draw the line except when it comes to herself. Familiar isn’t it?  However she fails to be kind to herself, she is attracted to power and authority which there is nothing wrong with, but the mistakes she makes is falling for another woman’s husband. It may have been both their decision but in a world that offers freedom of speech even when ‘slanderous, Mrs Pope will have to take the backlash of having an affair with a Married man, especially one who is under extensive public scrutiny. If you ask me, there’s is nothing attractive when it comes to destroying another person’s marriage and it no topic to tip toe over. Regardless of how much many of us would disagree with this but at the end of the day it’s a reality. It’s happening, it’s part of life and not for us to quarrel over. Besides this flaw Ms.Pope carries herself well and her work speaks for itself, she always wins her cases and feels a sense of reward from it. She worked hard for what she has and never depended on anyone and only she knows the price you have to pay.  I learned that “what good deed you do, will immediately be overshadowed by your actions” I may see her for who she is, but other’s will not bother, just because of her private affairs.

Lastly, using only two words to describe this next woman, she is strong and poised.

Annalise Keating, although it took her a while to be recognized in the television industry she made quite the impression when she dived in, she did everything with passion.

Her role in How to get away with murder portrays that of a woman who does not back down. She was not born a leader but her skills projections toward other’s carry authority.

She reminds me of a woman we all would love to be but have not realized that we already are “that Woman”. She demands what she wants and does not depend on anyone to pick up after her. She knows she is responsible for her own happiness, she cries when she needs to, and quickly moves on. She enjoys what she does and is always on guard. Sadly they struggled with having kids of they’re own, which put a strain on her marriage. As the story unfolds, you learn that she growing up, Annalise didn’t really have much, but she made a name for herself.

She fought and did not give up.

So maybe like Mary Jane you’re looking for love and have kissed nothing but frogs, or you’re like Olivia Pope and can’t rid yourself of harmful ties that deter your progress, or perhaps you’re like Annalise you saw who you are and are not willing to let your past dictate your circumstance. At the end of the day we’re women and we can relate on other platforms that don’t include the stretch marks on our bellies or the triumph of the bruises we had on our faces. We are Women.

Strong-Compassionate-Unpredictable. 

MisssMinnie